West Sumatran Earthquake

yesterday, my sister post a tweet telling that the has been earthquake in Pekanbaru. i dont know how, im just so afraid that the epicenter was in Padang. i called my auntie checking how she is. turns out the epicenter of the earthquake was near Padang. my aunt sounded all worried, afraid, sad at the same time.

she told me that a relative's house was torn apart that no one could live there :( their family now is staying in an empty place beside their collapsed house. there were no electricity. no food. no store was open. so they only could eat what they have left.

im so sad to hear this. im so mad, i want to be there and do something but i cant do anything to help them.

today i called my auntie. she said that some store has opened. so they can buy instant food. the electricity is still gone. all of my family are gathered in my grandma's house.

omg, i cant imagine how they feel right now. they have insufficient food, no lights. staying in my grandma's living room. frightened if there will be another earthquake.

if i can trade with them, i would. i cant imagine how scared my little cousins were.

ya Allah, please make this situation easier for them. they have suffer enough.. :(:(

Lion Air is so f-ing lame!!

My flight was from Padang to Jakarta. I was suppose to check in at 0130.but I got to the airport at 0215.and there was the longest queue I've ever seen. They only opened 2 counters for the flight. Talked to the ground crew, and discovered that there were 2 flights with almost the same departing time.
So they were handling 400 pax with only 2 counters available.

The ground crew took my ticket and ID card saying that she will help with the checking in. So I waited in line again to check in my baggage. The other passengers cut my line. So I told the ground crew that I'm only checking in my baggage. They did. But turns out the boarding pass hasn't been approved yet. Don't know what the problem is, but I again have to wait in the queue line.

And the problem issssss:
They only have 2 computers on the 2 counters. The ground crew who took my ticket was using--no, hovering--the computer from one of the counters there. So she made the line longer by using that computer. And turns out that some of the passengers belong to the extra flight. Not my flight!!bitch..

So after waiting for 15 mins, and yelling at the ground crew for a couple of times, I got my boarding pass.

When I got to the waiting room, they've already asked us to board the plane. So I did. And I don't really want to get in line again, waiting for the passengers to get to their seats, I went off the *i don't know the name, I guess it's garbaratta* thing-y and board from the rear part of the plane.

I sat in front of the emergency exit. So I can't recline my seat. Bitch!! And when I sit in it, turns out the walls are too close to me. I have my arm crippled between the wall and my body. Maybe the ground crew hates me that much that she gave me the hell hole. Darn.

I will never ever ever ever ever ever again travel by lion air.

The ground crews are a pain in the ass, the cabin crews aren't nice. Fuck my life.. I loathe lion air!!

...

so here's what i got in mind to make my relationship with him works:

i'll patiently wait for him.

i think thats the best i can do now. its up to him if he wants to be with me. i can only wait for him to make a move on something. whether its leaving her or staying with her.

i have 2 or 3 more years. maybe i can stall for 5. i don't know. but i will try my best to be with him.

i bet you think im dumb. waiting for someone who's far away to do something that is seemingly impossible. but i have faith in him. i know he will find me. i know he will find a way to get to me.

i know he will choose me.

so pick me, choose me, love me.

(quote from greys anatomy)

what Oprah had to say about men..

i was sorting stuffs on my computer, and i found this quotes. its says that it was from Oprah. i dont really remember where i got it. but whether it's from Oprah or not, the quotes are good. hope this will do something good to someone. me, maybe?
______

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.

Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... Even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is two way street.
You need time to heal between relationships. ..there is nothing cute about baggage... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. Look for someone complimentary, not supplementary.

Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes... When a man always knows where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.
Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man. Don't fully
commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

...

oh by the way, did i say that his wife is 4 months pregnant?
fuck my life.

my confession

this is the first time i spill it out in the open. i'm in love with someone's husband. there. i say it out loud.
i met this amazing guy on the net. i felt so connected with him. everything i like, he likes. everything i want, he got it. after a couple of weeks talking, he told me that he's married. and have a 2 year old son. i was shocked. i thought it would be so hard just because we're far away. but it's bigger than that.

i didn't think i would be someone who will tear a family apart. i always hate that girl. cos i think my family have had the same problem. 10 years ago, i found text messages on my dad's phone. from an unknown number saying how she loved him, bla bla bla. from that moment on i swear i wouldn't want to be the family breaker.
well yeah my family didn't fall apart. my parents are still together. they live happily and still love each other. but when i found out that my dad probably cheating on my mom, i can't see him the way i used to see him. when he hugs mom, i always said to myself how fake he is.

and now, i'm that bitch. i'm going to separate a son from his dad. if everything goes well, he is planning to move here with me. the goes well part means that if he finally got the strength to tell her that he no longer loves her. and i'm going to take away the dad to the other side of the world.

and now im thinking to myself, is this the happiness i want? is this the right thing to do?
he told me that he no longer love his wife. and that they are not happy as they used to. that he is much more happy with me.

i don't know what to do. here's a point of view from my selfishness. if i let him go, maybe, just the slightest possibility there is, that maybe he is the one i'm looking for. but if i want him for me, what if he's just playing with me? what if all the hopes he gave me one day vanishes. that maybe he is actually happily married to her. that they don't have any problems and he just want a fling or something.

gosh..

so tell me, am i wasting my time waiting for someone's husband to be my knight in shining armor, or is he my knight in shining armor?

the weird thing is, i know i've fallen in love with him so deep.